Lovely wench,
You remember?
The one you took to bed
intermittently
always in the middle
of another cocoon-spinning
you took and ravished
into beautiful
premature birth.
And piled my fragments on a canvass:
assemblage of lips and limbs.
I had to sew
myself back
together,
boys,
each night,
to spin another
cocoon
bound to be unfinished --
-- May 8, 2010 Last weekend a friend and I were walking around scavenging for good food when we stumbled across embarrasingly ugly photoshopped images of Liza Maza, Satur Ocampo and Jose Maria Sison - each of their faces cut and pasted on bodies in cult costumes with the fires of Hell for a backdrop. The posters implored people not to vote for these two senators due to their purported association with Jose Maria Sison, the NPA, plus a list of other organizations -- it also implores people to do this to "protect democracy".
Putting two and two together, I don't think I have to wonder which institution is in charge of this bogus. As one who pays her fucking taxes perhaps better than sleazy politicians ang big-ass corporate people, I WANT MY TAXES SPENT ON EDUCATION BUDGET, GOOD ROADS, RELOCATION, THE ENVIRONMENT and other more significant projects, and not on some low blow propaganda that spells SLEAZY, TRASHY and DESPERATE.
If I'm wrong about the perpetrators and they are other political contenders or some other paranoid schizo, the move is still Cheap. MGA BHOGO. Argumentum ad baculum -- how aware they must be of the fires of hell and what little understanding people have about democracy to abuse these to serve their propaganda.
For crying out loud, Reason with the people rather than perpetrate fear. Excercise the brain. The Filipino people are so used to being taken for idiots these days, and it's one of the many reasons we know less than what we ought to (and why people still like Wowowee).
So we tore down the posters, and I plan to do so every chance I can fucking get. "Actually I was referred by an employee who actually works here."
Hold up. First, doesn't "employee" already mean that the person works in the company? (Redun-dun-dun-dun.) And how many times did she have to say "actually"?
The word is noticeably overused by Filipinos working or living in dominantly English speaking environments, like their respective work places or the call center industry; if the poor adverb were alive, it would have been already beaten to a pulp here in the Philippines for its abuse.
But let's define terms. (Definitions taken from www.m-w.com)
Actually (adv.) - in act or in fact e.g., They don't actually follow the English Only Policy; or, in point of fact, used to suggested something unexpected, e.g. Wow! He can actually speak without overusing the word "actually"!
Discussing the minor phenomenon with an officemate, we came up with a number of reasons.
Observably, there exists a misconception that one's capability to speak in English is a good basis for judging one to be an intellectual. The longer one's sentences in English are, the more intelligent they think they sound. Maybe.
Or perhaps it's a delaying tactic. When caught in a situation when one must ask for something, or answer to some fault in English, the explanations are then littered with "actually", or "basically."
The most plausible explanation we found however, was simply that we're Filipino.
This particular behavior of Filipino English is a cultural matter; the Filipino value system places great emphasis on politeness and respect towards elders and superiors through one's actions and speech.
Because the English language does not have equivalents for the Tagalog "po" or the Cebuano terms used to address elders, say, "Manong", or "Ate", we try to compensate by making our English sentences sound polite. And admit it, most Filipinos are not used to being straightforward.
The usage of these long sentences is a balancing act between speaking and writing in a language that is not ours and the need to stay true to the dictates of our people's value system.
I'm no expert grammarian but playing it by ear, it does seem true. These adverbs and the present participle form of verbs do soften the tone of our sentences. (To refresh your memory (just in case), present participle is verb + -ing.)
Case in point:
An email I received from a supervisor said "We will be having a meeting later at 3pm"; by that, she meant the meeting will start at 3pm. She could have easily said "We'll have a meeting at 3pm."
I'll delegate the work to you, dear reader, to explain the difference. Clue: Use of future progressive tense. Forgotten elementary lessons are surprisingly interesting.
Filipino English isn't the only kind of English affected by native culture. It is for the same reason that English dialects like Jamaican Patois developed. Languages and their grammar continuously evolve, and culture is one major contributing factor.
The question now is this: Is it, or is it not correct to continue the usage of these Filipinisms, like our use of -ing words?
Discuss.
Bah. Humbug. Christmas season is just a big marketing and advertising ploy. An officemate had good intentions when she planned to celebrate her birthday, along with other workmates, in a home for the aged. Upon asking permission to use their lunch break (which was, in the first place, rightfully theirs anyway) for the said activity, they were instructed to wear company shirts, and to take pictures of whatever transpires in the event. During Christmas season some years prior, amidst discussions of fulfilling part of the company's corporate social responsibility, one supervisor was about to suggest giving something more substantial other than lugaw. She was then cut off in mid sentence by a department manager who exclaimed in enthusiasm at the brilliance of the idea that, yes, indeed, they should donate something more useful, like shirts with the company logos printed on them. The dismayed supervisor, who was initially thinking of school supplies for poor kids, was dumbfounded at the display of stupidity and opportunism. Same dismayed supervisor related to me one day about a personal experience with a local organization geared towards "creating better communities and societies" -- almost every outreach event was rife with cam-whoring. Too, the media was almost always present to tell the tale, and this was obviously not solely to encourage outsiders to do their part by joining the projects. It is true that on a larger scale, this system allows for help to be given to the needy lot; but what most positive thinkers miss to consider is that these big corporations have more to gain than to give, which completely annihilates the "spirit of Christmas" that these organizations preach about in their newsletters. These companies reeking of insincerity also breed a similar attitude amongst its employees making it, dangerously, second nature for these individuals. Exhibit A: Department manager mentioned earlier. Many of these organizations operate with the kindergarten-ish reward-and-punishment system disguised in corporate terms: employee motivation, sanctions, whatever. Now, because the company approves of being pro-active in grabbing opportunities, one creates a good image of oneself when one can display a practice of which corporate executives approve. Pogi points for the employee that, of course, translates to rewards. And like our Exhibit A, many times principles, ethics, good intentions are compromised. Corporate hypocrisy is not something that occurs in small instances like these. They occur in alarmingly larger proportions. Classic Exempli Gratia: McDonald's. We are aware of the tiny donation boxes on their counters for their charities, but that should not make us forgive other larger faults that this corporation has refused to answer countless times in the commentaries or information campaigns made against them with regards to corporate ethics, or in documentaries like "Supersize Me." And they have to gall to file libel cases against these little people. But with power and money easily available to them, they can also easily discredit their detractors, obscure the truth and continue to shape the consumption attitude of its market, and there you go off to buy yet another McDonald's meal made of fat, genetically modified and synthetic food sources, feeding the pockets of the big wigs and contributing to global warming (that's another story). And you gripe about your belly fat? Come on. Grumbling about these incidences during a fifteen minute break, another officemate nonchalantly replied that there's little or nothing that one can do about this system; he then gave me a condescending I-know-so-because-I'd-been-there-done-that-and-I'm-older-than-you-are look. True to some extent that there is little that can be done to change this culture of greed, but it is also this kind of jaded apathy that allows it to flourish and to take advantage of the less fortunate. Or of employees celebrating their birthdays and who simply have good hearts. Then again, really, what can be done about it? I won't pretend to have answers; I'm neither moneyed, nor powerful, and none of my connections are. But isn't this something we can start thinking about at least? At least before you participate in your "corporate social responsibility" activities, think about saying "no" to this kind of abuse. Think about it. A total of 22 people (and counting), including 12 journalists plus the wife and supporters of Esmael Mangudadatu were massacred in Maguindano in what clearly was politically related violence yesterday, 23 Nov 2009. The convoy was waylaid while "on their way to file documents related to his [Mangudadatu's] candidacy" for mayor of Sharif Aguak, Maguindanao. Details of, and report on this incident can be found on GMA news. According to another column in the same site, PNP, even its highest officials, are not cooperating. And, as usual, the Arroyo admin stated that they condemn such acts of election-related violence. That evil midget can shove the bullcrap back in her own ass. or eat it. (I'm enjoying the graphics in my head). Their condemnation of acts against democracy reeks of something that sounds like "Poker Face" being overplayed on almost every radio station I try to tune in to. It has been said too many times to mean anything at all. According to Malacañang, AFP has been ordered to pursue perpetuators. How should we trust that when the police are virtually the source of protection for the Ampatuans, and there exists an agreement between the clan and the government? According to some investigative reports done by GMA, the Ampatuan clan has always been able to employ force in running the province and during elections with impunity, since it delivers good election results for the administration. Part of the perks that the clan received is EO 546 issued by the Palace allowing them to drag around town a sizeable bunch of armed men under the guise of "civilian volunteer organizations", or CVOs, members of which are not even required to be at least 18-years old. This, even as the constitution bans private armed groups. Hope itself for betterment in this country was waylaid when the fifty armed men allegedly related to the governor of the province, including policemen, massacred the group. Who says contenders against admin will be safe, when this has happened during a time when people vying for public office are only beginning to file their candidacy? How many more of this are we going to see every few years? And as a citizen of this God-forsaken country, who says policemen can help me when I need it most? I will be in danger in their hands as much as with thugs. Will we ever be safe?
I used to pass by Camp Sotero along Jones Ave. on the way to school on Saturdays for my masters (that I stopped pursuing by the way hahahahahah), and I kept seeing murals bearing big words that our police cannot fulfill. I forget now what words exactly, but they talked of integrity, etc. Now, that's bullcrap right on their doorstep, and they expect us to rely on that?
There no longer is any respect and honor in becoming a policeman in this country. There is no honor in becoming a part of the House of the Midget. Eperformax Contact Centers and BPO invites Nursing Graduates to the Powerhouse Career Cocktails on November 14, 2009, Saturday at 3:00pm and be part of the first wave of exceptional employees of our newest medical account. ALso have a chance to be profiled for a Nursing career abroad! Yes you read this right. Attendance to this limited engagement event is by special invitation only for people seeking a career in the Call Center Industry. Enjoy sumptuous cocktails and get the chance to meet the ePerformax team before you undergo our “fast track” application process. We also have special games,raffle prizes and gifts to all attendees.To find out how you can be part of the FINAL LIST of attendees for this exclusive affair, please PM me or email your resume at careercocktails@eperformax.com. Upon receipt of your email, please expect a call within 24-hours for pre-screening. Thank you Kung nais nyong maging call center agent, may mga bakante posisyon sa aming kumpanya. PM lamang for details. Non-nursing also welcome to contact me anyway. Your flesh: the graveyard of desire
I buried inside your mouth
a pearl from the sweat
I caught from down your neck
Weren't we satisfied
Weren't we alive
Underneath the shirts I stole:
the closest to your core
Shadows playing on skin:
the closest to a touch
A fleeting glance: a fading epitaph
Your flesh: the graveyard of desire
Weren't we satisfied
Weren't we alive
Better late than never. Even without my blogging, information on the topic abounds in the internet, so if anyone wants to know what the hulabaloo is with regards to the issue, just google "National Artist Awards" and you'll know why it's a big joke.
I will though, declare that I have participated in protest activities locally, mourning the death of the awards, reading up articles, and that I have learned the following:
1) That Carlo J. Caparas is a disgrace. Try and list down the names of National Artists for both Film and Visual Arts and then add his name to the list -- his name fits in like an ugly duckling who at a mature age is still, well.... Anyway, what artist who has no ability to draw deserves an award like this? And how in God's green earth did movies like Visconde Massacre (God Help Us!) contribute in "building a Filipino sense of nationhood"? And how the hell does "Gagambino" help develop a "national cultural identity" for Pete's sake? That's Spiderman there goddamnit!!!! (see Guidelines for National Artist Awards here).
2) That Carlo J. Caparas is a moron. This is what he said of F. Sionil Jose: "He's nothing but a campus writer." Blasphemous! And what an idiot to be gloating as if his works merit any award at all, when they aren't even half the worth of F. Sionil Jose's.
2) That Carlo J. Caparas is simply an uneducated nut case who thought that it would be fun making his own films and creating "very original" komiks characters. Gagambino? Spiderman? Heeey! Spot the difference!
3) That Cecilia Alvarez, although credible and deserving of the award for all her cultural contributions, nominated herself for the award she received. Or so it will seem now, even without initially intending to do so. Delicadeza, dear -- she should have said "no" and dropped her name from the list seeing that she was the head of the committee that deliberated on who these national artists will be. Oh, and does Heherson Alvarez ring a bell here? Does "presidential advisers" sound fishy? And it's right to say that it's a form of corruption to have allowed herself to slide into the list because...
4) ...a large chunk of our tax money will go to undeserving people now that they've been awarded, and that any working artist should be concerned over this. I learned that National Artists receive 1 million pesos for projects annually, and 25 thousand pesos monthly, not to mention benefits and what not.
5) That what this is, is a bypassing, disrespecting, disgracing, and debasing of the supposedly prestigious award by Gloria Macapagal Arroyo (supprted by her minions) by putting in four names into the list, all to her liking. What an idiot to be doing this (in addition to a lapse of judgement for overspending) in light of Cory's death.
6) That we can only hope for a better result in the next selection of National Artist three years from now... that is if we're all not stupid enough to elect another president who will drag us all to hell.
7) That also, we from the regional areas need to call for the ammendment of NCCA rules that highly favor Manila-based artists. A criteria for the selection of National Artists includes this:
Artists who enjoy broad acceptance through:
- prestigious national and/or international recognition, such as the Gawad CCP Para sa Sining, CCP Thirteen Artists Award and NCCA Alab ng Haraya;
- critical acclaim and/or reviews of their works;
- respect and esteem from peers.
Thus, most Manila-based artists already have an advantage over regional artists, even if their credentials make them competitive enough for the award. Resil Mojares, Cebuano writer, cited an example in literature and said that translation is mostly one-way -- Tagalog works get translated mostly into other languages in the Philippines, but not so much the other way around.
So. What say you. And What will you do? I for one will start reading more of Rio Alma. Or F. Sionil Jose. MANILA – “Bayan Ko” singer Freddie Aguilar has clarified his controversial remark that drew flak from fellow singers Arnel Pineda and Gary Valenciano. “Hindi ako nagsasabi ng monkey. Ang sabi ko kaya tayo binabansagan, [tayong] mga Filipino, [na] unggoy dahil manggagaya tayo,” Aguilar said in a taped interview aired on “The Buzz” Sunday. In one of his interviews, Aguilar reportedly slammed Pineda, the Filipino vocalist of American rock band “Journey,” and international singing sensation Charice for proving what international singer Mariah Carey had reportedly said about Filipinos. Carey had allegedly likened Filipinos to monkeys because they would only mimic the styles and songs of other international artists. Aguilar maintained that he never mentioned Pineda in that interview. “Si Arnel (Pineda) hindi ko siya isinama doon. Binanggit lang iyong pangalan ni Gary (Valenciano), tapos si Regine (Velasquez) din. Sabi nila tinawag ni Mariah Carey na ganoon (monkey) tapos dinugtong ko na lang iyon. Pero actually isa lang ang tinanong, si Charice lang,” he said. The Filipino folk music icon, however, stressed that he has nothing against Charice and Valenciano. He said he was merely voicing out his opinion. “Tinanong ako sa opinion ko. Alangan naman ang ibigay kong opinyon hindi iyong nararamdaman ko,” he stressed. He acknowledged though that Charice is a good singer. He added that he would be impressed more if she sings original Filipino music in her gigs abroad. Aguilar, who is behind the worldwide hit "Anak," also made this challenge to all Filipino singers: “Ako magtatanong sa lahat ng mga singer na Filipino. Bakit puro banyaga ang kinakanta ninyo? Iyan ang tanong ko. Hindi iyong tinatanong niyo sa akin kung bakit ko kayo tinatawag na unggoy.” “Kayo ang nagpatawag na unggoy dahil gaya-gaya kayo,” he added. -------
Bitaw.  | Purdoy | Jul 2, '09 6:19 AM
for everyone |
(Read once during a performance show of XO? in Tapas. Final draft lost. This work going through re-writing.)
It wasn't just the one-peso coins jangling in his pocket, as he crisscrossed through smog and selfish tinted car windows on the highway frozen traffic.
It wasn't just the holes in the woman's shoes with her red swollen puss-filled feet.
It wasn't just the melodramatic visions of squalor and vagrancy in the skywalks of Robinson's Mall or Escario St.
It wasn't just the sooty darkness of old man Colon
It wasn't just all these as I shambled through the streets.
It wasn't just lips flapping for a sale of DVD's and smuggled puppies
and barbecue or China-phones
It wasn't just a whisper in your ear
selling you a steal.
It wasn't just the card reader on the sidewalk
who says you'll die on Thursday so be careful
It wasn't just all these as I shambled through the streets.
We were told by the baby boomers
we can be all we want to be
but nobody could foresee we would also be
he who sat on the porch of a house-cum-cafe
who watched people shuffle through and about the doorway
laughing, drinking, talking, eating, laughing
he, compromise-tired,
dream rotting in the bodega at the back of his head
thinking: phony.
she who spoke of space
while running in a rat race
and talked to strangers along the way
as she searched for a man who would not run away
just because she was headstrong, wisdom-poor, 24
he who stood alone under a lamppost
and furtively climbed a different car every night
to pay a debt incurred to live and live a dream
she who drank a beer
night after night
said hi to cat
and fell asleep
waking up to 6 photocopies of Monday
she whose varicose veins must've been
the map of her dreams
brewed over 6729 packed lunches
who screamed three decades of Hail Marys instead of Mayday
and watched the TV then cried until 3.
But it isn't just all these
and what it really is
and what it really is
and what it fucking really is
is that it just is
like that scene in Magnolia
dead frogs raining
it just is
like this stupid girl rambling
you've no choice here but to listen
because she's ripping
the phrase: it just is.
God-forsaken
XYZ 123 Generations
you did not choose your histories.
It all just is.
And we pay for
the age old error
of the Brown ones
bowing down,
Leading to these mosaic selves
of the Mangyan and MTV
Jo's Inato and KFC
Cebuano literature and call center industry
poverty of positivity
poverty of identity
poverty of wisdom
poverty of choice for many
Poverty of mind
Poverty of heart
Poverty of soul
It all just is.
The 6.7 Billion population statistic.
Children of these God-given circumstance
we're not so magically blessed
So tonight
we lose our magic
and we will admit to ourselves what everyone already knows:
There's really nothing going on here
that it's just your beer
that it's just a talking girl
that at the stroke of 3am
this bar's a brightly lit empty carousel.
Isn't the world so. ("Latagaw" edited/re-written) Naanad ra ko sa akong
barotong wa'y angkla:
Magpa-anud
bisa'g gisungog na sa su'g
kay dako ra man ko'g pagsalig
sa katig
sa akong baroto.
Ug sa panahon
nga ang dagat
dili saputon,
mubawos og pahiyom
ngadto sa adlaw, o sa buwan
kay gidayan-dayan
og mga alindahaw
ang iyang nawng,
akong baroto
malipayon
nga makig-cha cha
sa mga gagmay'ng bawod
nga muhatod
kanamo padung
sa bisan'g asa.
Naanad ra ko sa akong
barotong wa'y angkla
nga karon gidagit padung
sa imong lungsod,
nga karon naglutawlutaw
dapit sa imong pantalan
samtang gihangop mo ang paglatagaw ko
sa mga makatintal mong eskina.
Apan naanad gyud ko
sa akong barotong wa'y angkla.
Wa ko'y salig ana'ng inyong
kanunay'ng gamug-ot nga yuta. Regarding the Con-Ass issue, please choose one among the following: [ ] gi atay na. [ ] gi atay na. [ ] gi atay na. [ ] mu tubag sa ko sa Michael Jackson nga survey. [ ] others (please provide your own profanities): ____________________ Regarding Michael Jackson's death, please choose one: [ ] kalu-oy... [ ] hayahaya gud... [ ] di ra ko mabalaka, gakuyog ra man to silang Farrah Fawcett... [ ] Heal the world. Human sa tanang pagdagan-dagan, pagligid-ligid, tuwad-tuwad, lihay-lihay sa mga buto-buto, lagpot-lagpot, kamang-kamang, tagu-tago, labay-labay Human ang pagtu-ok tu-ok, aylabyu-aylabyu sa mga bida, hilak-hilak og luha, hilak-hilak og gas, patay-patay Human sa tanang pagdrayb-drayb, transform-transform, tsabaw-tsabaw, shyagit-shyagit, pagpanic-panic, Human sa tanang pagbu-ang bu-ang ni shia, human si optimus prime mingtiurok ug nabanhaw human ang ikatulong adlaw... nindot ra gihapon og lipgloss si megan fox. Part of my routine after pushing the office door and depositing my things in my work station is to fix a cup of coffee and grab the daily. And then, weilding a pen, I bow my head for the 8 o'clock habit.
I buy the dailies for one reason: the only things appealing to me in the dailies these days are the crosswords and sudoku puzzles in the entertainment section. There's a certain simple joy in filling the boxes with the correct letters and numbers: that what was a problem previously is now solved by your doing.
The news in the city, in the the capital and abroad are the added bonus I get that allow me to play informed smart-ass among the irregular newspaper-readers at work. But that also means that the randomness of my newspaper-reading habits fill me with generalities.
Today though, I decided to flip to neighboring sections before proceeding to answer the number game.
Story number 1 was of a man who entered the afterlife after having an argument with his girlfriend. According to news, girl did not allow boy friend to join an outing she was attending with former classmates. Thus, the noose.
Story number 2 is of another man who kills himself after having been left by his wife,who brought along with her their kids. The latter packed up after having been hit by the husband while engaged in an argument.
Apparently, trends also tend to happen with crimes. Consider the latest hyped story of the murdered call center agent, and that of the MEZ employee, both of which happened a week apart. Both deaths also resulted from texting.
And what's the count on females who were butchered, and whose parts were wrapped in garbage bags and carelessly disposed in various areas?
Or the drive-by killings, many cases of which remain as jigsaw puzzles with missing pieces.
Daily, at least one dies by someone's wrath or one's own will. Suspects are shown in technicolor, most of them remorseful for their acts. To the reasonable and functional, it is very puzzling how repercussions never occurred to them -- all that time they put to waste by going stale in prison.
As for political bickering -- I do not touch the stuff as I am not an expert, unless I am up for teleserye-ic following of the developments on the pingpong of rebuttals and retorts. It's muddy enough in the mush of truths and lies in their arena; very unappealing to the random daily-reader like me.
These stories neatly laid out on newspaper pages provide us our daily dose of confusion. Despite the distance we maintain, the more one reads the more one becomes concerned. Paranoid. Angry. The rabble-rabble of people's opinions do not provide enough explanations to fill in the large hole that is "WHY". It makes one think that the Filipino people are up to their ears in their own shit. And as these stories pile up day after day, they become mundane and one tires of the befuddlement.
I flip back to my sudoku to refocus my brain.
Those who do not keep abreast with the latest crimes and current events choose to do just that because there's enough disorder to think about in their own spheres.
Other modern-day Houdinis escape news of the city's atrocities by answering games answerable by logic.
We opt for the crossword, or the sudoku, because unlike reasons for the heinous and the atrocious, the blank holes in the puzzles do not gape at you without answers. Unsa kaha'g si Humtpy Dumpty, Itlog Maalat diay to siya noh? I went to my vendor friends at JY from whom I get my copy of the dailies. Chai: 'Nang, kung mudagan si Erap ba, mubotar pa ka niya?
Manang: 'Di na oi.
Manong Habalhabal Driver1: Ay, di na ko oi, bisan kinsang presidenteha, kurakot ra man gihapon
Manong Habalhabal Driver 2: Bisan pa'g kinsang presidentiha, mao ra gihapo'g pliti! There's my heart up the flagpole
Pale and drained
Pull it down and fold it now
or not --
it's raining formalin
it's raining formalin
we'll be safe
No is fine
My father taught me how
to swallow
bitter gourd
Pull me down and fold me now
or not --
it's raining formalin
it's raining formalin
we'll be safe
we'll be safely dead E.T. phoning home collect | |
